Eurovision 2016 – Belarus: ‘Help You Fly’ (IVAN)

Let’s not spend too much time considering Belarus’ 2016 Eurovision entry. No need. Really.

In its favour, ‘Help You Fly’ does meet the basic requirements of a Eurovision entry in that it’s a song and it lasts no more than three minutes. But, if it’s to pose any kind of threat on the Grand Final running order, the entry is going to have to go through a massive transformation along the lines of a change to its melody, harmony and performer.

Help You Fly‘ is an exercise sung by someone I imagine is very nice and very pleased to be representing his country but who struggles to have impact both vocally and visually.

I would normally temper my comments with a statement along the lines of “It’s not that bad really.” The truth is that I can’t really bring myself to do that. Now I have a sense of how the rest of Europe has viewed the UK these past ten or so years.

Expectations of Belarus shouldn’t be especially high. Since their debut in 2004 they’ve failed to qualify a mammoth 8 times.

Of the four occasions they’ve appeared in the Saturday night running order, their 2014 entry is arguably their best. ‘Cheesecake‘ was a reasonably competent-sounding song (just overlook the lyrics and the fact Teo and his backing singers look like a bunch of teenagers out on their first ever Saturday night) complimented with a tightly choreographed routine which was mindful of budget, sympathetic to the surroundings, and contained an incredibly satisfying tracking shot that followed singer Teo’s nimble footwork.

Expect no such joys in Belarus’s contribution to this year’s competition. I’m bracing myself for the worst.

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