Don’t point

Mark Kermode

I do have a tendency to go weak at the knees when I spot relative celebrities.

A lot of people reading this may not necessarily know who Mark Kermode is (Wiki here) – he’s someone who often appears on BBC Radio Five Live, News 24 and Newsnight sharing his opinions on various film releases – still, I feel the need to share my experiences with you regarding this TV and radio star.

Me and a friend were going for a swift drink last Friday evening. Gassing about all and sundry and, essentially, absolutely nothing when I suddenly trailed off and spotted this in front of us.

I pointed like a mad thing, suddenly unable to communicate anything other than random selection of vowels to my friend, spectacularly failing to register that my friend was actually gesturing me in a way which said “please stop what you’re doing now”.

Both of us walked past the said TV prop, my right forefinger still pointing in its direction when Mark Kermode happened to be walking in front of it and towards us. The expression on his face wasn’t great, it has to be said. He certainly didn’t appear as though he was particularly pleased to see me (if indeed he recognised me at all).

Consequently, now seems an appropriate moment to point out that I absolutely wasn’t pointing at you Mark Kermode. The Police Box behind you was the object of my childish affection instead. I trust you won’t be too hurt. I suspect you probably won’t.

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