Lose the beard. It's not working.

There might be documents to write, but there’s still time to obsess about the logistical nightmare that is the forthcoming trip to Baku.

More cats, things to do at work and that damn act from The Netherlands with the head-dress. Who let that happen?

Clearly, I know nothing about this sodding contest. (via Flickr User AKOE / Keith Mills)

Today would be one of those days when I’ve scraped the bottom of the Eurovision bucket.

I’m sick of the word. I’m sick of the idea of it. I’ve no idea what I’m writing about (or indeed whether it makes any sense) and .. worst of all … I find myself opinions of what might go through and what won’t don’t in any way tally with the consensus arrived at by those already out in the press centre in Baku attending the rehearsals in person.

The picture to the left posted Keith Mills on the All Kinds of Everything blog shows how accredited press already out in Azerbaijan have voted based on the rehearsals they’ve seen. Everyone appears to be going mad for Russia, for example. And yet Russia to me seems repetitive, dull and not in any way satisfying. Have I lost my sense of fun (assuming I had some in the first place)? Or am I so completely out of touch with what’s going on as to make my credibility questionable and thus trip out there nothing but a waste of mine and everyone else’s time?

There’s a serious point to all of this. One I touched on when I posted about my experiences in Dusseldorf last year. Something which rears its ugly head every single year around this time. Eurovision is a collective experience. A network springs up because of this event. It unites people. Personally, I like that. But at the same time I want to feel independent of that network. I do for the most part. Basking in my own self-satisfaction about the opinions I have about each TV act. Then I catch sight of evidence of how differently everyone else thinks and I feel rather lonely at having such disconnected opinions.

What am I doing? Why am I going? Who on earth is reading this? And really .. does anyone really care?

Oh. I’m sorry. Of course. This should really be about today’s rehearsals, shouldn’t it. Let’s get on with it.

Day Four Rehearsals Review (Spoiler Alert)

Slovenia‘s Eva Boto – the youngest singer in this year’s competition – turns in a competent performance of what now feels like quite a pompous song. Her outfit – something that wouldn’t appear out of place in an advert for home decorating – is one error, so too the cliched moves her backing singers make. Altogether quite a boring affair.

Things don’t necessarily pick up that much with Croatia‘s number that much either. A slow fairly standard ballad which has been made to appear a bit more interesting with some ‘interesting’ choreography. It’s well sung but there isn’t that much there – even with the ‘reveal’ at the end of the number. That might seem bitchy, but the reality is that there is very little contrast between the first two songs, making both almost unforgettable. Maybe the international juries will think differently.

If we’re looking for the complete package in terms of TV, then Sweden‘s Loreen could be the one. Loreen has got the moves to the music sorted, adding another layer to the rhythmic elements in the song, moves you’d think would impact on her delivery of the song but don’t. This has much to do with the way in which the melody in the chorus is tracked by the backing singers, making Loreen’s voice appear stronger than it really is. Still, the complete number stands head and shoulders from most of the songs I’ve heard so far, leading me to think that Sweden must be a strong contender for the crown.

Georgia‘s song transfers well to the hall. It’s heavy bass will resonate well with the crowd creating a good atmosphere that will transfer well on to TV. But it is the oddest little thing. There are lots of moments when I’m not really sure what it’s trying to do musically. Directionless and a bit all over the place. As though someone has thrown a few chords on to the page and then told the choreographer to ‘do something with that’. What’s rather reassuring is that I did reckon on this being the case when I watched the preview video.

Watching Turkey‘s first rehearsal is a completely opposite experience. The song was great – I loved it – but something isn’t quite working for in the rehearsal. I’m getting the fear a bit.

Things are a little early to be being too critical and the wide shots in the rehearsal footage doesn’t help either. But, everything about Can Bonomo’s Love Me Back is lacking a little bit of pizzaz. That doesn’t mean we need tits and teeth, and glitter and sequins. More, it’s lacking a bit of purpose. It may well be the case that a better (TV) sound mix, some outfits and a bit more oomph will lick things into shape. What I fear is that this will turn into a bit of a damp squib.

No big surprises from Estonia, well not if you’d seen the preview video they offered the rest of Europe. The Manilow song I was trying to think of when I watched it the first time around was ‘I Write The Songs’ (at least in the verse). And the presentation on stage is .. exactly the same. I’d probably be no good as a TV producer because I’d be quite satisfied with this. Personally, I don’t think it needs any more tweaking. This number is all about singer Ott Lepland and his ability to deliver the song. And he can. So that’s nice, isn’t it.

I stand by my initial dismissal of Norway – callous as I was – but having singer Tooji leap and stride around the Crystal Arena stage I concede it’s a pretty good production. He’s not bad at the choreography and can clearly deliver the song musically. It doesn’t have the edge Sweden’s Loreen has but is streets ahead of Denmark’s comparatively dull and uninspiring number. On paper it must surely have secured a place in the final. I’m just not 100% sure yet.

It’s a late Wednesday afternoon where I’m in West London. I’m looking out at a jam-packed main road carrying traffic out of the capital, looking over to the site where BBC Worldwide used to be sited and thinking .. ‘what is that terrible noise in my earphones?’

It’s Slovakia. Not the country, but their representative Max Jason Mai singing Don’t Close Your Eyes. This isn’t my cup of tea. I didn’t like it before. I don’t like it now. And I’m afraid that’s all I have to say.

Bosnia and Herzegovina‘s song – the last in the second semi-final – is one of the few songs in this contest which has been transformed into something considerably more engaging now that’s got to the arena. The preview video was a little odd, making the end product just a little bland. Singer Maya Sar sings this well and I like the simple presentation too. I also like the fact they’ve gone for an obvious cliche an positioned a piper on stage. I don’t see one at the moment. I hope to God I don’t when I see the next Bosnia and Herzegovina rehearsal.

I can’t actually bear watching the slow opening of this song from Lithuania. The blindfold is really disconcerting. I get the reference and see how they ended up with it, but Lithuania listen to me here .. you will be laughed at. The boy can dance and he can sing really well too. Lose the blindfold. Keep it simple.

Rehearsal days one and two were given over to those countries competing in the first semi-final on Tuesday 22 May. Second semi-final songs have rehearsed on days three and four and will compete on Thursday 24 May. 

Day Three Rehearsal Reviews (Spoiler Alert)

Serbia have kicked off the first run of rehearsals for the second semi-final. It’s a solid performance of an equally solid song with a fairly static presentation echoing singer Željko Joksimović’s previous appearances at Eurovision. It’s a little early to say what additional impact will have over a song which already connects on a musical level. There is – potentially – more of a risk that the quality of the song will be lessened by some poor choices in terms of outfits. This isn’t about an obsession with costumes, I hasten to add, more an active interest in understanding how delicate the balance is in producing a good piece of TV. All eyes will be on Serbia in the next run of rehearsals to get some idea of what it might look like on the night.

No question about the strength of singer Kaliopi’s voice or her intonation. It’s spot on, as evidenced in the opening sequence in the rehearsal video. Musically however, it doesn’t especially excite me. So FYR Macedonia are going to have to go a long way to make this a memorable act. And on that basis, I wonder whether there’s a question over them securing a place in the final.

I think there must be more to the Netherlands’ production team’s thinking than I can make out from either the preview video or this rehearsal video. Neither they or singer Joan Franka read this blog, for a start. I think the headdress is a mistake. It upstages what is an otherwise sweet song and certainly masks Joan’s equally sweet face. This act will be sniggered at, I’m sure of it. And that seems a terrible shame.

A disappointing first rehearsal for smiley Kurt Calleja for Malta today. The number just didn’t display the energy I was expecting it to. Where other acts have already demonstrated themselves ‘ahead’ in terms of production, Malta’s leaves me wanting. This video footage may not necessarily be representative on how the entire rehearsal went, of course. Malta will need to be able to put something a little bit more polished out during the next run of rehearsals for me to remain as chipper about their song as I was when I first saw their preview video.

All I can really say about Belarus is that they look even more bizarre on stage than the first iteration of their props did. Mind you, at least the costumes have improved. On the whole, I remain unconvinced by this number.

Portugal’s presentation (like their song) seems pragmatic and doesn’t suffer from it either. A simple presentation of a straightforward song sung with a heartfelt commitment. Watching the footage back now, there’s almost a sense we’re watching Eurovision from the mid-80s. Nothing too flashy, just all rather nice. It won’t have broad appeal as TV entertainment necessarily, but it’s a nice little affair.

At the time of writing this, I can’t remember for sure whether I actually liked the song from Ukraine when I peered at the preview videos or not. If I did, then I’ve changed my mind now. It has an interesting riff – that horn/’trumpet’ line embeds itself – but the entire number is upstaged by the backdrop, clever though the choreography and graphic display combination at first appears. I think it could sink. I’m not entirely sure.

Watching Bulgaria directly after Ukraine (without having looked back at my original review posts), I’m struck by how much more I prefer Sofi Marinova’s Love Unlimited. The underlying sample that opens the song succeeds where Ukraine’s comparatively dated sound fails. If this rehearsal is a blueprint for the semi-final on Thursday 24 May, then I like the fact there’s no-one else on stage with her. And I really like the backdrop. But Sofi does have the potential of not being able to reach the top notes. She’s screeching at the moment. And that worries me a bit because I want this to do well.

The hot news about Jedward as they left Ireland was that previous Eurovision winner Linda Martin is taking the outfit she wore the night she won the Eurovision with them. (via Irishmirror.ie)

It’s been rather nice keeping an eye on what’s going on in the Crystal Arena in Baku from the relative calm of west London today. Blogs from Paul Jordan and the OGAE UK‘s (the official UK Eurovision fan network) have both helped ease me in to the Azeri way of thinking. I know now for example that I won’t be walking from my hotel to the arena. It’s a little too far. An hour an ten minutes according to Dr Eurovision.

Attention has also been focussed on the Irish delegation’s travel arrangements. It’s been a little difficult not to. First there was Irish representatives Jedward in the Irish Mirror, then they were in an aeroplane holding up pairs of pants. Then there was Jedward in Baku airport. RTE (or is it Planet Jedward?) have their social media licked. And, as it happens, it’s been rather nice to follow their progress. Quite how they had the energy to do a rehearsal when they got the arena, I don’t know.

Day Two Rehearsal Reviews (Spoiler Alert)

I’m feeling increasing amounts of love for Israel‘s almost anti-Eurovision entry. Musically speaking, it delights in its disdain of the usual formulaic approach to delivering three minutes of entertainment. This is a static presentation and it’s difficult to see this developing that much more than it is already even when everyone in the band is dressed up (there is a six-person on-stage limit for an act, and they’ve reached that already so there won’t be anyone else).

Right now, I like the band’s laid back approach. They have some style. They feel a bit grown up. A bit like the sixth formers everyone else in the school is in awe of, jamming at the Christmas party. It’s a tonic. And although I know it will potentially come as a shock to anyone dropping by on the night of the final, I do think the track could be a breath of fresh air in the running order if they get through the first semi-final.

San Marino on the other hand face some challenges. I ran this past my partner Simon this evening for the sake of compliance. My opinion is perhaps in need of a bit of a check. He described it as ‘a medium quality Eurovision song’. I’m not sure I would necessarily go that far. In fact, the more I listen to it the more it feels like it could easily weedle its way into my Spotify playlist when no-one’s looking.

In terms of production, I’m just not clear how San Marino and composer Ralph Siegel ended up with what they have. The props – an iPad and that bejewelled Macbook Air – feel a little too obvious. There’s a spot of ‘dad-dancing’ going on in the background too. Visually, there’s nothing to lift what is a terribly repetitive and ultimately frustrating song. And given Ralph Siegel’s pride participating in the Eurovision as evidence in this interview he gave for ESC Flash Malta, I feel rather sorry. The song has Siegel stamped all over it. But if he’s going to win, he’ll have to get his stage presentation sorted out. As TV, San Marino’s song has all the hallmarks of Germany in 2002 and 2003.

That said, the big question – the thing to keep an eye on – is whether San Marino get a place in the final. And while I might be fairly negative about the whole thing, I’m still no closer to knowing for sure whether or not they will. A costumed rehearsal could convince me either way. Stay tuned for that one.

Cyprus have turned in a pretty together rehearsal if the video is anything to go by. The choreography looks reasonably OK and they’re even spending some time prior to the first rehearsal sorting out the hair. Singer Ivi Adamou is clearly able to deliver a (reasonably straightforward) melody whilst moving around the stage and she’s confident in front of the camera. What this song lacks musically will need to be made up for by interesting camera direction. It’s difficult to tell at this point, but this could be one of those songs which earns a place in the final by being competent.

There a smashing looking bunch of people them lot representing Denmark.

Denmark‘s song is a reliable affair even if the stage presentation is – I’m sorry Denmark – getting a little contrived. Truth be told, I’m getting a little tired of it now. That’s in part because musically it doesn’t go anywhere in those three important minutes. The production is good, but it doesn’t make up for it. And the fact I’ve seen the same stage presentation in the preview video means I’ll risk overlooking this performance. But come the night (it will absolutely secure a place in the final), newcomers to it will respond well. ‘Expert’ juries won’t vote quite so highly in comparison to say Italy’s in-part derivative number, but Denmark will do well. It’s just not a personal favourite.

Russia. I really appreciated seeing their selection for Eurovision this year. But having seen the report on the BBC News website (UK only) earlier today and then seen their rehearsal, I’m left feeling a bit bereft. Yes, it’s great seeing the grannies on stage. But it doesn’t take long before the novelty factor wears off and I get quite annoyed by the song. Oh. And another thing. My oh my, there are some pitching issues there. Sorry ladies.

'Not a bad looking chap, that bloke singing for Hungary,' said the South East London jury earlier today.

On the other side of the coin entirely, Hungary‘s act this year is a revelation. Compact Disco turned in what felt at times like could be their performance for the first semi-final. Their lead Behnam Lotfi is obviously at home doing live performance. The song fills the arena. The backing singer fits in seamlessly underneath transporting me back to the 80s and Human League. I’m in heaven. I find it difficult to imagine they even need a second rehearsal.

As for Austria. Oh God. I will be amazed if this goes through.

The penultimate number in the first semi-final is Moldova. I hold my hands up and confess a weakness for this song regardless of what it looks like on stage. It’s the trumpet riff in between the chorus and verse that make me go weak at the knees. And I know I’m probably the only person in Europe who thinks that. That aside, The key to this particular rehearsal footage is that lead singer Pasha can clearly belt out the melody. He has a reliable voice. And it’s a pleasure to listen to. And that will do Moldova well. I just hope they don’t ruin it with an ill-thought out costume.

And finally, Ireland. As I pointed out earlier, the Jedward boys have certainly got their social media sorted out and arrived with the same air of excitement around the place as they did last year in Dusseldorf. At least, that’s the impression. But their performance does need some attention. There are pitching issues (in some places, even note issues) and even in terms of choreography the brothers appear to be a little out of sync with one another. Mind you, I’m looking at a wide shot in the rehearsal footage and it could be that in a cropped shot such details are lost on the massed TV audiences of Europe. Such is the magic of television. That said, I’m still not a big fan of the song.

Albania's Suus checking stuff out with a stage manager at the Crystal Hall in Baku (via Eurovision.tv)

The stage is complete, the lights are on and nearly all of the acts have unpacked their suitcases and settled themselves in their hotel rooms. A handful of countries participating in the first semi-final on Tuesday 22 May have had their first camera rehearsals today. The lovely bunch of multimedia drones at Eurovision.tv have captured some of those rehearsals on day one so us armchair pundits can pass judgement.

You’d think it would be an easy process to be critical. In actual fact, it’s considerably more difficult.

Preview videos are distant, disconnected affairs. They don’t feature real people, only performers who are dolled up to the nines in most cases and in others don’t possess the talent they think they have in order to pull off a half decent job. Or at least, that’s how it seems when we peer at the preview videos and pass what we think is an expert eye over their offerings.

Now we see some of those same performers as they would probably prefer not to be seen in rehearsals (only they know only too well they’re going to be filmed before they set foot on the stage): without make-up, without their costumes and without their choreography nailed.

We see people stiffly walking around on stage, acquainting themselves with the scale of the arena, the route they have to take moving around stage and where the cameras will be to meet their gaze. There’s just a touch of realism to the whole thing. A smidgeon of vulnerability. These are real people investing in the process. Some expecting the world, others not.

Day One Rehearsal Reviews (Spoilers)

Montenegro have brought a donkey with them to Baku. They’re going to have to do a lot of work between now and Tuesday next week for me to start warming to this. It’s edgy. And edgy is good. But as a programme opener, I think that edginess and slightly weirdness could tip them into the ‘I’m not voting for them’ bracket.

Iceland This is a pretty bog standard affair, but people seem to like it. The staging is as I expected for a piece of generic pop-rock. But the flowing hair, long dresses and dramatic hand gestures don’t persuade me into listening to this over and over again. At least, not yet. I’m impressed by how together they all seem on stage. A rapid selection of hard cuts between sweeping and running cams, and this will look very dramatic on screen.

Greece – My feelings about the song to one side, I suspect that this will do better than I first thought too. The choreography and the ambient sound of the arena transforms the song into a potentially uplifting number for the final running order. But I’m uneasy about Eleftheria’s voice. There’s a shakiness in it already – in part I imagine down to her becoming accustomed to the acoustic. I just wonder whether it will be her voice which flakes a bit in the event of her feeling a bit off on the night. That said, she’s clearly very good on camera.

Latvia – I think I was a little too harsh on Latvia’s meta-song when I reviewed it a couple of weeks ago. Maybe it’s not the turkey I thought it was. It has a sweet chorus and when the ensemble get a little tighter, they’ll complete a stage presentation which by virtue of the beautiful piece of graphic design in the backdrop behind them. Maybe it does deserve a place in the final after all.

Latvia's Anmary singing Beautiful Song, a number transformed by an impressive backdrop (via Eurovision.tv)

Albania – Musically, this remains a firm favourite of mine. Simple, beautiful and powerful. Rona is a reliable belter and I’ll look forward to seeing how this develops. Particularly if the song can maintain my interest between now and next Tuesday’s semi-final.

Romania‘s song Mandinga still delights me. Clearly the track yields the necessary amount of pleasure just listening to it. Lead singer of Zaleilah Elena Ionescu has the skill to deliver a live song and in terms of range it’s not especially taxing either which is a good thing. What worries me a bit at the moment is the rest of the group behind her. Their props are a bit pantomime and I wonder whether that cheapens the whole affair just a bit. Even so, I still like it and I’m sure it will go through.

Romania. Great song. Great performer. It's those props I'm not keen on.

Switzerland’s rehearsal video wasn’t up on YouTube at the time of writing this, so they’ve escaped my premature judgement. Lucky them.

Where Belgium is concerned, I’m still not certain about the song. And seeing it on stage still hasn’t really persuaded me into liking it. Everything just seems a little odd at present.

It’s Finland which I’ve been really looking forward to see in rehearsals for most of the day – that’s one of the songs I’m backing for a place in the semi-final. Assuming that the stage act remains the same, I notice they’ve ditched the dancer but kept the cellist. Good move. Frankly, I’m a sucker for something simple and stylish. If she can keep a handle on her notes and keep up the support with her diaphragm all the way through, this should be a corker for me.

Quédate Conmigo sung by Pastora Soler seems like an all-round competent little affair. We know pretty much what it’s going to deliver at the beginning of the song but still within the confines of the three minute rule, the track feels like a slow-burner that builds to a suitable climax albeit with a fairly measured and well-timed key change.

It’s easy for songs like this to get forgotten about when it comes to the final voting. They tend to blend in with everything else. That might hamper Spain this year. That said, it’s their best entry for many years and deserves a five or six fistfuls of votes.

Nice work Spain. Well done.

Spain has won the Eurovision twice in 1968 and 1969 and secured second place positions in 1973, 1979 and 1995. Their last top ten slot was back in 2002 when talent show winner Rosa bounced into seventh place with Europe’s Living A Celebration.

Spain has a special place in Eurovision history for having the opportunity to reprise their song in the 2010 contest after a member of the audience managed to make his way onto stage during the live act. Mind you, that was nothing in comparison to singer Daniel Diges being somewhat upstaged later on in the song when his backing singer made it on to stage.

A recording of the segment features in this Audioboo. A few jumbled thoughts follow.

This .. the Eurovision song for the 2012. This is the song which will undoubtedly resonate long past the closing credits of the contest this year. It will resonate as heavily as the bass drum beat in the middle eight in the song itself if Italy don’t walk the 2012 contest with their act this year.

Like Lena’s winning Satellite for Germany a couple of years back, this song transcends the usual perceptions most part-time Grand Final-Only Eurovision viewers have about the songs they think they’ll hear.

It has a quality to it. I don’t feel dirty by the time I’ve got to the end of it. Sure, it’s a little derivative. Amy Winehouse mostly. But it doesn’t suffer because of it. In fact, musically it feels a little like we start with Amy Winehouse, then it develops, then it returns to Amy Winehouse and then we reach the end. That’s when I want to hear it again. And that’s quite something.

A production triumph undoubtedly, I do like the idea of Italy winning again. The San Remo Festival – in which Nina Zilli participated – represents the origins of the Eurovision itself. That was the muse EBU director (then producer, presumably) Marcel Bezençon drew on when conceiving the idea of the EUrovision Song Contest back in 1955. It is Italy who we applaud for the Eurovision. The fact they ducked out of the contest for a number of years when they felt it wasn’t going the way they felt it ought to only serves to underline how seriously they obviously take the art of songwriting. That was obvious from the song they returned to the contest with last year, the song that came in second in the final tally.

I’m just glad she didn’t go with the song she’d hinted at to Eurovision fans she’d sing for Italy. Because really if she had, Pam Ann would have had a field day with her video, not to mention the fact the song Per Sempre isn’t really up to that much.

Italy won the Eurovision in 1964 and came second ten years later with the same artist (the year Abba won).

The country came third in 1987 with the gorgeous Gente di Mare.

Italy didn’t win again until 1990 when Toto Cutugno sung Insieme:1992, a dark time in Eurovision history. Those who dream of high-quality live TV entertainment remember only too well the implications of Italy’s win that year. Toto’s presenting skills weren’t anywhere near as efficient as the song he sang to win the contest, making him synonymous with one of the most painful nights in the Eurovision’s history.